Title: The Man That Didn't Get Away
Spoilers: So... Good Talk (and everything before)
Written For: gah_warrior in the Lukesmut Ficathon
Request: angst (if only temporary)
Rating: ADULT - Do NOT read if you are under 17!
Summary: What exactly happened after Lorelai shut the door at the end of the So... Good Talk?
Author's Notes: I hope this is angsty enough - I have a hard time writing angst in this fandom. Much love to Cassie for the beta and the title.
I didn’t have time to react. One minute, I was sitting on the couch, ready to bawl my eyes out while Judy sang and the next, I was in Luke’s arms, being more thoroughly kissed than I can ever remember being kissed in my life.
My body was reacting quite nicely to the kiss but some small voice in the back of my mind wasn’t quite letting me enjoy it as fully as I should be. It took me a full minute to realize why.
I yanked away from Luke, startling both of us. The pain in his eyes was easy to read.
“Lorelai,” he said, the tone is his voice unrecognizable.
“What the hell was that?” My grief, my loneliness, my anger, all exploded in that one sentence.
“I… I…” Luke stammering was something new. I wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it, so I turned around and walked back into the living room and sat on the couch, waiting for him to conjure up some words.
It took him longer than I expected to follow me and I almost looked to see if he was still there, but my resolve was strong for some unknown reason and I knew I had to make him get out whatever it was he was trying to say.
I finally felt the couch dip a little as he sat next to me and reached for my hand. I pulled it away and continued to stare at the television screen.
“Lorelai,” he said again, his voice full of… was that sadness? It was such a foreign concept that I broke my resolve and looked straight at him.
There were tears silently streaking their way down his cheeks.
I was, for the first time in my entire life, speechless. All I could do was look at him, my eyes wide and my mouth gaping.
Luke was crying. On my couch. Because of me. And I was speechless. I had to fight the overwhelming urge to call Rory and tell her to come home quick because she would never believe this unless she saw it with her own two eyes.
Somehow I knew that would kill the mood. Whatever the mood was.
Luke took a deep breath. I could tell he was struggling to figure out exactly what he wanted to say. And I decided I wasn’t going to help him. I had already tried to apologize and he had walked away. He had broken my heart and I was going to be a ruthless bitch and make him work for whatever it was he wanted.
We sat on my couch and stared each other down. I was determined not to speak first and he finally seemed to realize that.
“Lorelai,” he said again. I looked at him expectantly. “I’m sorry,” he finally managed to spit out.
I gave him a skeptical look. He wasn’t getting off the hook that easily.
He sighed. “I screwed up. I got scared. I reacted very badly. If I could go back, I would do it all again differently. Better, I think.”
I nodded. He was doing better, but he wasn’t quite there yet.
“I told you that I was all in but when the stakes got too high, I folded.” I wondered if he had been spending our time apart watching the Celebrity Poker Tournament on ESPN. “After all these years and after all the Friday nights I’ve listened to you complain about your mother, I should have known that what Christopher said was just another one of her manipulations. But I was upset about him being there, upset that you had kept a secret from me and upset to find Rory with that boy. I wasn’t thinking clearly and instead of trying to work it out, I bolted. And by the time I had a chance to think about things rationally, I had myself convinced that you could never be happy with me, that I could never give you the kind of life you wanted, needed or deserved. And I should have never sold you short like that.”
I considered his words. It was the most I think I had ever heard him speak in the eight years that I had known him. He had this hopeful look on his face, but underneath it I detected something more, almost as if he didn’t expect me to forgive him.
He didn’t realize that I had forgiven everything the moment I saw those tears.
I was still at a loss for words. I didn’t think that there were words that would adequately express my feelings. I’m sure Rory would have had the right words, but I couldn’t very well grab the phone and call her to find out what they would be. So I settled for expressing my feelings in a very Lorelai way.
I kissed him.
I leaned in so fast that he didn’t really have time to register what I was doing. I caught a tiny look of panic in his eyes just before my lips met his. He reacted instinctively, one hand going to my hip, the other tangling itself in my hair. When I pulled away from him this time, I gave him a lazy grin.
He smiled back. Luke has the sexiest smile in the entire world. It starts in his eyes and works its way down his cheeks to his mouth.
“I guess I’m forgiven?”
“Yes, you’re forgiven,” I said. I hesitated, but I knew I couldn’t let it go. “Do you forgive me for not telling you about staying with Christopher when his dad died?”
“Of course I do,” he said. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
“Well I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too.” He glanced around then and I gave him a puzzled look. “Where’s Rory? I thought she was home for Spring Break.”
“She decided to go back to Yale early.”
He frowned. “Why?”
I bit my lower lip. “To spend time with Logan,” I responded quickly, running the words together.
“That guy from the party?” I could see the anger building up in his eyes.
I put my hand on his leg. “Luke, she’s an adult. I have to let her make her own mistakes. Besides, I think she really likes him and it sounds like he really likes her and she needs to have some fun after the stress she went through this summer.”
He relaxed then. “So we have the house to ourselves?”
I gave him my best innocent smile. “It’s just you, me and the dust bunnies.”
He groaned at my bad joke, but stood up, took my hand, and pulled me up from the couch. “Come on,” he said, in that low, sexy, growly voice, leading me toward the stairs.
I followed willingly.
No sooner did we walk through my bedroom door did I find myself on my back on my bed. I still have no idea how he managed that one. But I’m not complaining, because Luke was right next to me.
We started kissing and I felt his hands caressing me through my tank top and sweatshirt. I arched my back and leaned into his touch. He chuckled against my mouth and the vibrations sent a pleasant chill down my spine. His hands moved away from my breasts and grabbed the bottom of my shirts, lifting them over my head. I broke our kiss long enough to lift my arms and untangle myself from the shirts.
As our lips connected again, I managed to get my hands between us and started unbuttoning Luke’s flannel. It’s really hard (dirty!) to work those tiny buttons when Luke’s thumbs are pressing my nipples.
I yanked his flannel off and broke the kiss again to pull off his tight white tee-shirt. I was desperate to feel his bare skin against mine. We both groaned when my rock hard nipples pressed against his bare chest and our kiss became more frantic, hands groping everywhere.
Suddenly he was gone. I was panting, trying to catch my breath and figure out why Luke’s warm body was no longer pressed against mine. I felt the bed shift with his movement and then his hands hooked into the elastic waistband of my sweatpants, pulling them slowly down my body. He worked them off of my ankles and tossed them away, reaching back up to give the same treatment to my panties.
I wasn’t wearing any.
He groaned at this discovery and pushed himself up on his arms enough to meet my gaze. I gave him my most dazzling smile and winked. He shook his head slightly but then lowered himself to finish what he had started.
I shivered deliciously when I felt his warm breath on my most private parts. He teased me by placing gentle kisses on my left thigh. Then he switched to my right thigh, giving it the same treatment. I was wiggling my hips, trying to adjust my body so his lips would land exactly where I wanted them, but he was on to my tricks and moved with me.
“Luke,” I begged, my voice husky with desire.
I felt him chuckling against my thigh, but then his tongue started moving slowly from my right thigh toward my center. I gasped and held my breath, waiting for him to make contact with my clit, but he pulled his head up and I felt his tongue on my left thigh.
I groaned and felt him chuckle again, but his tongue moved closer and closer to where I wanted it the most.
“Oooh,” I moaned as his tongue finally slid over my clit, gently, teasingly. Instinctively, my hips thrust up to make the contact harder, more insistent. I felt Luke’s hands move to my hips, holding them down so he could tease me with short, gentle strokes.
I started to whimper and I felt his grin against me. He alternated between the torturous licks and gentle sucking. I moaned and tried to move my hips up again, but his hands held them firmly in place.
My breathing grew more erratic as he continued his ministrations.
“Luke,” I panted his name again. He must have heard something in my voice that made him realize I couldn’t take much more of his torment, and he finally pressed his tongue hard, repeating the same motion over and over. I was getting closer and closer to the edge.
Suddenly, I felt his fingers gently entering me. Two of them, thrusting in and out in rhythm with his tongue. It only took a minute to send me over the edge with a cry.
I laid there as the aftershocks of my orgasm wore off, breathing hard, but grinning with satisfaction. Luke crawled up the bed and rested his head next to mine, his hand gently stroking my stomach.
“Wow,” I finally said, eliciting actual laughter from him. He had an incredibly smug look on his face and I decided to repay his favor by wiping it off his face.
“Why do you still have jeans on?” I asked, sitting up and reaching my hands down to his waist.
“Don’t,” he said, grabbing my wrists. “That was part of my apology. You don’t have to return the favor.”
I quirked an eyebrow at him and maneuvered so I was straddling him, despite the fact that he was still holding my wrists. I wasn’t going to let a little thing like not having use of my hands stop me.
I bent my head to his belt. Using my teeth, I pulled it out of the belt loop and through the buckle.
“Lorelai,” he said. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” I answered in my best little girl voice as I gently worked the belt buckle loose with my tongue.
I moved to the button on his jeans. I used my teeth to tug the top of the button hole down and pushed at the bottom of the button with my tongue, dislodging it on the first try.
“Lorelai,” he groaned. I ignored him.
I lifted the zipper pull with my tongue and captured it between my teeth. One tug and I had his jeans unzipped.
I wasn’t the only one going commando that night, much to my relief.
I flicked my tongue over the head of his penis and smiled inwardly when I heard his sharp intake of breath. His hands gripped my wrists a little tighter for a moment and then let go. He lifted his hips so I could slide his jeans off and toss them on the floor.
Then I settled in to tease and torment him the same way he teased and tormented me.
I started by sweeping my long hair over his entire mid section. I knew it would tickle him and I also knew it was a huge turn on for him. Then I decided to steal his trick and started placing gentle kisses on his thighs, alternating between them and purposely sweeping my hair back and forth as I did.
My efforts were rewarded with a deep groan.
I moved up a little and started fluttering tiny kisses up and down his shaft. I noticed the difference in his breathing immediately and decided to take things one step further by licking up and down like I was enjoying a really good ice cream cone.
“Lorelai,” he practically hissed my name.
It was enough to break me; I don’t have the same willpower as Luke. I couldn’t continue tormenting him, when all I wanted was to take him in my mouth. I positioned my lips over the head and slowly slid my mouth all the way down, enveloping him in my mouth. I felt him shudder with pleasure and I continued my slow strokes. After several of them, I reached down and cupped his testicles in one hand, massaging gently.
“Lorelai,” he breathed my name again, this time a hint of desperation creeping into his voice. “You have to stop,” he got out between pants.
I pulled away and met his eyes through the darkness. He grabbed my arms and pulled me up his body so that I was once again straddling him. I pressed my body against his and we kissed again. I tasted myself on his lips.
Slowly, I ground my hips in circles, enjoying the feeling of his throbbing against me. He shifted and tried to maneuver himself inside me, but I slid back so he couldn’t. As much as I wanted to feel him inside me, I wanted to enjoy this closeness a little bit longer.
He seemed to understand my motives as he worked his hands between us and pressed his thumbs against my nipples. My desire spiked with his caresses and our kiss deepened. We were still grinding against each other and I felt another climax building inside me. Luke shifted below me and pushed me up slightly, his lips fastening on my right nipple, while his hand slid down between our bodies, his thumb now making circles around my clit. His other hand pinched my left nipple and it took less than a minute for him to send me over the edge again.
As I was coming down from my second mind blowing orgasm of the night, he shifted again and I felt him enter me slowly. Feeling him inside me nearly made me come again. Once he was fully in, he stopped and we both reveled in the sensation of being joined.
“Lorelai,” he said softly. I met his eyes.
“I love you.”
I swallowed hard and felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I had come to realize during our separation that I was in love with Luke, but I wasn’t sure if we had reached the point in our relationship where I could say it without freaking him out.
There was a hint of anxiety in his eyes, as if he was afraid I would freak out from his revelation. I can’t say I blame him for wondering; I don’t have the best track record with relationships.
“I love you, too,” I said, my voice steadier than I would have imagined given the situation.
We shared a smile and then Luke began to move inside me, thrusting up gently and slowly, building a rhythm that I soon met. There was something profoundly different then the other times we had done this. I supposed it was because, for the first time, we were making love, not just having sex.
Even with the slow and steady pace, it didn’t take long for us to both reach a satisfying climax. After, I snuggled in his arms, my head resting on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart beating. It may surprise a lot of people who know me, but I like to be quiet sometimes. And everything that had happened since I opened my door to find Luke standing on my porch was enough to put even me in a reflective state of mind.
I was just about to drift off to sleep, content in my love for Luke, when he whispered my name.
“Were you sleeping?”
I propped myself up on my elbow and looked down at him. “What?”
He gave me that sheepish grin. “I meant what I said before.”
“So did I, Luke, so did I.”
Satisfied, he pushed my head back onto his chest, hugged me a little tighter and placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head.