Joan of Arcadia - Making Up is Hard to Do

Title: Making Up is Hard to Do
Written for: Het Fic
Characters: Joan/Adam and Helen
Rating: PG

He hesitated before knocking on the door.

He glanced at the flowers in his hand, wondering if bringing them was too much. He missed his Jane. He hadn’t seen her since she had come home from the hospital. He knew she was angry. He wanted to make things right.

He was terrified of losing her.

He lifted his hand to knock on the door and was startled when it was pulled open.

“Were you going to knock or just stand on the porch all night?” Mrs. Girardi smiled at him.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to explain himself.

“Well, it’s like this, Mrs. G., I know Joan is mad at me but I really miss her and I want to make it up to her. Can I please come in and talk to her?”

Helen smiled at the stammering boy. She admitted to herself that she hadn’t been thrilled when Joan starting spending so much time with Adam. But the more she got to know him, the more she was convinced that he was a good boy and a suitable first boyfriend for her only daughter.

“Those are beautiful flowers, Adam, I’m sure Joan will love them. Come on in, she’s up in her room.”

Adam gave her a tiny smile, the butterflies in his stomach were starting to feel more like a soccer team warming up. He stood in the entrance, praying that Joan would come down and talk to him.

Helen made a very un-Helen-like decision as she watched the hope flickering across Adam’s face.

“Why don’t you go on up to her room. That way she can’t refuse to see you.”

The way Adam’s face lit up made Helen sure that she was doing the right thing.

Slowly Adam made his way up the stairs. A thousand things were running through his head. He had no idea what to say to make Jane stop being mad at him.

He took a deep breath and knocked softly on her bedroom door. Her muffled response was enough of an invitation for him to open it.

She was curled up in her bed, staring blankly at the television. She gave a half-hearted glance, expecting to see one of her parents. When she realized it was Adam, she sat straight up and fixed the blanket over herself.

“Adam! What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you, Jane. And you won’t take my phone calls.”

“But what are you doing in my bedroom?”

He blushed a little bit. “Your mom sent me up.”

Joan’s eyebrows raised on that statement. “My mother sent you up to my bedroom?”

Adam shrugged. “She knew you wouldn’t come down to see me.” He was starting to feel nervous again. Like maybe coming over here wasn’t such a good idea.

Joan gave him a half smile. “What’s that?” she asked, gesturing to his hand.

“Oh, I can’t believe I forgot. Um… here, I brought you flowers.”

“Do you think flowers are going to make up for breaking a promise to me?”

Adam didn’t say anything.

Joan sighed. “You may as well sit down. I guess we need to have this talk.” He looked around the room for a place to sit, but both of the chairs in her room were covered with clothing. He was surprised when he looked back to Joan and she was patting the bed.

Gingerly, he sat on the edge. Neither of them spoke for a long minute.

“Listen, Joan, I’m really sorry that I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to. I was so worried about you when you got sick. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“It doesn’t matter Adam, I asked you to promise that you would believe whatever I said and you promised. When you said that my illness caused hallucinations, you made me feel like I was crazy. I already felt like I was crazy and I needed someone to tell me I wasn’t. I trusted you to do that and you let me down.”

“But Joan… you have to understand what a weird place I was in that day. You were so sick and I was so scared that something was going to happen to you. I couldn’t handle losing someone else that I love. It was like watching my mom die all over again. When you started talking about talking to God it freaked me out and I wanted to believe it was just an after effect of your illness. But if you believe it is true, then I will believe you. Please just don’t be mad at me anymore.”

Adam forced himself to meet Joan’s eyes. To his surprise, there were tears in them.

“I’m sorry Joan. I really am. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Joan smiled at him for the first time since this whole mess had started.

“Adam, do you realize that you just told me that you love me?”

“Uh… I did?”

“Yes,” Joan said, taking his hand. “You said that you couldn’t handle losing someone else you love.”

Adam looked shocked as he recalled his words.

“I guess I did. I never meant to tell you like that.”

“It’s okay, Adam, what matters is that you did tell me. I’ve been so confused because part of me was so angry with you for not believing me and part of me wanted me to forgive you because it is a lot to ask someone to believe and because I love you.”

Adam’s face lit up. “You do?”

“Of course I do, silly. How could I not? We’ve traveled a rough road this last year. Our friendship didn’t exactly start off smoothly. And it took us a while to realize and admit we were attracted to each other. But I know how I feel in my heart.”

Adam smiled at her. “Me too, Jane.”

They were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Without waiting for an invitation, Helen pushed the door open.

“Is everything okay in here? I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing that I didn’t hear screaming or not.”

“Everything is fine, mom.”

“’Cha, Mrs. G. We’re cool.”

Helen walked closer and noticed that Joan and Adam were holding hands. She smiled.

“I’m glad to see that. Why don’t you two come downstairs and I’ll fix you some lemonade. I just took a batch of oatmeal cookies out of the oven.”

“Good, I’m starving!” Joan exclaimed.

“I love your oatmeal cookies, Mrs. G.”

Adam and Joan both giggled when he said the word love. Helen gave them a curious look.

“Well Adam, why don’t you come down with me so Joan can put some real clothes on. I’ll let you have the first cookie.”

“’Cha, that’s cool, Mrs. G.” He jumped up and let Joan’s hand fall back to the bed. He was halfway to the door before he stopped and turned to her. “I’ll see you in a few minutes, Jane.”

“Save me some cookies, Adam.”