Bed of Roses

Title: Bed of Roses
Characters: Logan/Marie or Wolverine/Rogue
Rating: PG
Author's Note: This is what happens when I listen to Bon Jovi while reading Xmen fic. Many thanks to tonic2w for the fabulous beta.

Sitting here wasted and wounded at this old piano
trying hard to capture the moment this morning I don't know
'cause a bottle of vodka still lies in my head
and some blond gave me nightmares
I think that she's still in my bed
as I dream about movies they won't make of me when I'm dead

He sits in the hotel lobby and takes a huge gulp of his coffee. It burns like hell going down but he barely winces. The caffeine begins to flow through his veins and he feels somewhat human again.

He struggles to recall the events of the previous night. He vaguely recalls drinking an entire bottle of vodka in the hotel bar. He remembers the blonde sending him a drink, but doesn’t remember how she ended up in his bed.

Deep down he knows it was just another pathetic attempt to convince himself that he’s not in love with Marie. He knows that she’s angry with him for leaving right after the memorial service but she has Bobby to dry her tears. He knows he’s no good for Marie and hopes that if he stays away long enough, the thing with Bobby will become real love. He trys to push his feelings aside because he wants whats best for her.

with an ironclad fist I wake up and french kiss the morning
while some marching band keeps its own beat in my head while we're talking
about all of the things that I long to believe,
about love, the truth and what you mean to me
and the truth is, baby, you're all that I need

No matter how many women he beds in various cities, he cannot get Marie out of his head. He wonders if he somehow absorbed part of her through her powers the way she absorbs those she touches. He hears her voice clear as a bell saying, ‘Logan, sugah, come back home.’

He’s tempted to return to the mansion. He hasn’t had a home in over fifteen years, but he feels comfortable there. He knows it would be like going home, especially because Marie is there.

He wants to go back and be the kind of man she wants him to be. He knows he could find happiness in Marie’s arms but he’s afraid. He doesn’t want to fail her in any way.

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses
for tonight I sleep on a bed of nails
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is
and lay you down on a bed of roses

He rides, barely noticing his surroundings. He isn’t sure what state he’s in, possibly one of the Carolinas. He’s been all over the country on Scott’s ‘borrowed’ bike. He rides until he can’t ride anymore and then finds a cheap roadside motel with a bed as hard as nails to crash for the night. When he’s lucky, the motel has a bar attached so he can drink to get Marie out of his head for a few hours.

Tonight he’s not so lucky. The motel he finds, when he can’t stand being on the bike anymore, isn’t anywhere near a bar. Lying on his back, hard bed beneath him, his thoughts drift to Marie. He thinks of laying with her on a soft bed strewn with rose petals, and wonders if they would ever be able to get past her mutation to make love.

He gets angry with himself for having such thoughts. Marie hasn’t even celebrated her eighteenth birthday yet. He thinks that the longer he stays away, the easier it will be for her to get over the crush she has on him and find happiness with the popsicle or one of the other teens at the school. He doesn’t think Marie could ever be happy with him, even though he knows he’ll never be happy without her.

well I'm so far away
each step that I take is on my way home
a king's ransom in dimes I'd give each night
just to see through this payphone
still I run out of time or it's hard to get through
till the bird on the wire flies me back to you
I'll just close my eyes and whisper, baby blind love is true

He awakes in a cold sweat. Something is wrong with Marie. He’s not sure how he knows, but he knows. His heart races as horrific scenarios play out in his mind. He calls the mansion to see what’s going on. Scott answers and tells him there is absolutely nothing wrong with Rogue physically but chastises Logan for leaving, for running, for breaking her heart.

Logan begs to be able to speak to her, knowing he has to hear her voice, to hear for himself that she is okay. After much cajoling, threatening and pleading, Scott finally calls Rogue to the phone. Logan is so relieved to hear her voice, to know she is not injured or worse. He can hear the undercurrents in her voice indicating she is still upset with him for leaving. She begs him to come back, tells him that she needs him there.

He argues with her for a few minutes but cannot shake the mental image of her in his head. He realizes he needs her too and that if he keeps driving, he’ll be back at the mansion in time for her birthday. Her shriek of excitement nearly bursts his overly sensitive eardrum when he tells her he’s on his way home.

the hotel bar hangover whiskey's gone dry
the barkeeper's wig's crooked
and she's giving me the eye
well i might have said yeah
but I laughed so hard I think I died

He pushes himself to ride twenty hours a day so he can make it back to the mansion in time for her eighteenth birthday. He knows he can’t deny his feelings for her any longer. He knows that he’ll never be complete until he has Marie in his life permanently.

He finally has to pull off for the night and finds another cheap motel. He goes to the bar and does a few shots of whiskey to fortify himself. He knows he’s about to make the biggest change in his life, at least his life as he remembers it, and it scares him. He loves Marie and he does not ever want to hurt her.

He’s so lost in his thoughts of Marie that he doesn’t even notice the bartender flirting with him. A few weeks ago, hell even a few days ago, he would have taken her to his room to try to get Marie out of his head, but now he realizes he likes having Marie stuck in his head.

now as you close your eyes know I'll be thinking about you
while my mistress she calls me to stand in her spotlight again tonite
I won't be alone but you know that don't mean I'm not lonely
I've got nothing to prove
for it's you that I'd die to defend

He makes it to Westchester just after nightfall on Marie’s birthday. He speeds to the mansion, anxious to see her, to smell her, to hold her in his arms. He knows there will be challenges to face with their relationship, her mutation, the age difference, and a million things. He also knows they are meant to be together, and that the professor will give him a job on the team. He doesn’t want Marie fighting without him there to help protect her.

It’s nearly midnight by the time he pulls up on the grounds of the mansion. He parks Scott’s bike at the front door, leaves his bag hanging on the back, and hurries into the house, hoping to find Marie still awake.

He stops the moment he enters the mansion. Her scent is so strong, he knows she’s close. He looks into the front parlor and finds her curled up in a chair, fast asleep. It tugs his heart because he realizes she was waiting up for him.

He walks over and looks at her for several long moments. He thinks to himself that she’s gotten even more beautiful in the months since he left. In this moment, he is able to look at her as a woman, not a kid. He says her name softly, but she doesn’t stir. He leans over and gently presses his lips against hers for a moment, not wanting her mutation to start. He waits for a moment, but doesn’t feel the pull. He kisses her a little harder and she finally wakes, startled to find him standing there, kissing her. She throws her arms, covered in gloves and long sleeves, around his neck. She holds on tight, as if she would die if she left go. He knows he would.

She asks how he was able to kiss her without her powers kicking in. He doesn’t know and right now, he doesn’t particularly care. He kisses her again and tells her they’ll figure it out tomorrow.